#40 Have a cake and eat it too

On my birthday and 24 lessons I learned in 24 years of existence.

Jan 22, 2022

I started writing this newsletter on a train to Malmö yesterday and now I’m finishing it on my way to Göteborg, reflecting on my 24 years of life on this planet. I decided I want to spend my birthday travelling because I missed the feeling that visiting a new place gives you. I wasn’t wrong. So far, it’s been brilliant, despite not having had a birthday cake yet! 🎂

I’ll make sure to fix this once I arrive in Göteborg, but in the meantime, I made a list (who doesn’t love a list?!) with 24 lessons I learned in my lifetime. A word of caution: I might sound a bit wise beyond my years – don’t worry, I’m still silly and goofy.

Have a fantastic weekend and, as usual…

Happy reading, happy learning,

If you don’t believe in yourself and your dream, no one else will. There are many people along the way who will try and stop you. It’s up to you how you block the noise and focus on what you want to achieve. ✨
Don’t settle for less. You’ve accomplished X, Y, Z. Congratulations! What’s next? It’s fine to have breaks, get bored, and procrastinate, but after a while, you need a new challenge to stimulate your brain. 🧠
Don’t put your eggs in one basket. Don’t rely on a single opportunity/person /way of doing things. Have a backup plan. 🥚 🧺
Actually, there’s nothing wrong with being a jack of all trades. In this day and age, you need to be versatile above everything else. What if you lose your job and have to switch careers? It’s not enough to be a good writer if you don’t know how to promote and sell your writing. It’s not enough to be a good cook to manage a restaurant if you don’t also have some business acumen. 🤡
It’s okay to improvise, too. In the big scheme of things, I *tend* to plan, but sometimes you must have an open mind, be spontaneous, and adjust to the circumstances. 🤷
Read, read, read. I’m biased, but trust me, books are there to help you. You’ll expand your vocabulary, enhance your knowledge, strengthen your writing abilities, and overall, feel more creative. Reading is also fun and provides escapism. In short, books are there to make you less of an idiot. Use them. 📚
Diversify your media diet. Don’t waste all of your time scrolling aimlessly on TikTok or Instagram. Follow people you don’t normally agree with on Twitter, read publications that have a different political view to your own. Don’t limit yourself to one perspective. BONUS: Try “Rebel Ideas: The Power of Diverse Thinking” by Matthew Syed. He explains why working with people who are similar to us undermines our potential for success. 🗯️
The harder you work, the luckier you get. It’s not that I don’t believe in luck, but I believe more in creating opportunities for yourself. I also really hate when people belittle others based on ‘luck’ alone. Yes, you might get lucky, but what you do next is what counts. Entrepreneurs might have a struck of luck – they spot a gap in the market, they’re visionaries and foresee whether a business idea will be successful, they get investment etc – but without hard work and discipline that luck won’t count so much in the long run. 🍀
Be a good observer. Look around you – people, places, exchanges. Make a mental note of what works well and not so well. How would you behave/respond in that type of situation? 👀
Be curious, not judgemental. Ask questions relentlessly, have a healthy dose of scepticism, and don’t rush into labelling people. 🤔
You’re not just an employee; you’re a solution to a company’s problem. It’s not that much about the craft per se, but rather how you can use that craft in different contexts. Position yourself as a problem-solver. Build your USP. 💡
Everyone can create content, but few can deliver value. Oftentimes, it’s a game of trial and error. But if you are relevant and intentional when communicating your message, people might relate more. 💪
Make yourself indispensable. Be punctual, receptive to new ideas, show initiative and be willing to do the work that no one else likes to do (at first). But don’t get too comfy – check lesson #2. 🤓
Before you can afford to say NO, say YES a lot. If there is one thing I am really pleased about is that back in school I went against my parents’ will and didn’t bother to study ‘enough’ so I would make it to national-level competitions. Instead, I would dedicate my entire free time getting involved in random clubs and activities, volunteering, teaching English, going to events and … trying to be cool, ofc. If it wasn’t for those years of experimentation, I am not so sure I’d know what I like, want to do next or am good at. 🙌
Make your voice heard. Whether within your group of friends, in a relationship with your partner or in the workplace, say what you think. Always. Of course, the way you say it is also important… 📣
Think before you speak. Yes, stand up for yourself, chip in with suggestions, but don’t feel like you need to speak just for the sake of it. In fact, listen more and talk less. 👂
Rejection is painful, but is unavoidable. I have a rejections folder and every now and again I go through the emails and read them. Up until recently, I couldn’t do it because it would bring me to tears. Now, I understand that those roles weren’t for me. My journey has been difficult and with lots of barriers in the way because what lies ahead of me is far, far greater than I can imagine at the present time. I bloody hope so, anyway! If not, sorry for the rubbish advice. I’m only 24, after all! 🤭
Take time to cry and heal. I used to do ‘crying sessions’ in the shower because my room walls were so thin I didn’t want anyone to hear that I am upset. It’s okay to pause, cry, let it all out, maybe talk to someone. I am good at compartmentalizing – ‘lock’ problems away at the back of my mind and never deal with them properly – but I really wish I wasn’t. There are better ways. 🥺
‘Asking for help isn’t giving up. It’s refusing to give up.’ I blame the silly culture of perfectionism in which I was raised and the ridiculous idea that asking for help is a weakness. It absolutely isn’t. I’m still struggling to accept that but at least I recognise their importance of it. BONUS: For a heartfelt and compelling read (for all ages), try “The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse” by Charlie Mackesy. 🆘
Ask for feedback. Some people will tell you how marvellous you are. Don’t believe them. Okay, it’s good for your ego, but look for more than a general observation. I made a habit that after every rejection I write back to the employer something along these lines: “What do you feel I was lacking in my application? / Were there any areas in my experience that I didn’t emphasise enough? / What could I have done to present myself better?” It rarely works – because people don’t want to do it or don’t have time for you – but when it does, it can be insightful. Be persistent. The ROI is really huge. 💁
Don’t worry about finances just yet. I’m not being condescending; I recognise my privileges. But I also know I was in the position where I couldn’t afford taking the tube to uni because it was too expensive. Not until long ago, I worked for a media company doing a six-month internship which I loved but was massively underpaid. (I only afforded doing this because thankfully I didn’t have to pay rent.) However, I genuinely think it will get better and money will come. (Check lesson #8) 💰 💸
Everyone can be a role model. I strongly believe you can learn something from everyone around you. Sometimes you might learn how *not* to do a certain thing but it is equally important. (Check lesson #9) 🦸
Stay humble. Don’t forget where you came from, no matter how far you go in life. Never forget the people that were there to root for you. 👏
Be kind. If you’ve scrolled until here, it’s fine. I don’t mind. There is only one lesson that I would truly like you to know and take away after this read. Please, don’t forget to be human. Thank you. 🙏

Before we say goodbye… 🥺

If you liked this issue of the newsletter, please click on the 💜 button, so I know I’m doing a good job. There’s always the option to leave a comment with your feedback. I promise I’ll always reply!

The Culture Worm

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