#1 The pal that always shows up uninvited

On overthinking, imposter syndrome and fighting the monsters in your head.

Apr 02, 2021

* 47. 47 times. I wrote and rewrote this intro 47 times. Actually, the version that you’re currently reading is the 48th. I only gave up because it’s close to 2 am and I am meant to wake up in less than six hours. *

Do you think I’m mad? Don’t answer that, actually. I don’t want to know. I’m overthinking it, anyway.

I could’ve started my VERY first newsletter issue on a lighter note. (Hi, by the way! 👋)

But this would have meant only lying to myself. The way I see it, this little deal I made with you to find me in your inbox every week is going to make me responsible. I’ll have a ‘duty,’ some sort of commitment to you. Also, the deadline pressure will make me forget, at least temporarily, about the fears and negative thoughts that keep piling up in my head.

Is this too ‘honest’? Perhaps too ‘dramatic’? Is this good enough? Why do I feel like a fraud? What if I make a typo? Will they think I’m stupid? Will they unsubscribe, unfollow me on every social media platform and tell everyone how lame my newsletter is?

You get the picture.

Imposter syndrome is discussed a lot these days, which is important because it normalises ampler conversations around mental health in general.

Not until recently, I imagined that if I simply acknowledge the issue, I will be able to live with it for an undetermined period of time by compartmentalizing some of these thoughts. Of course, I should’ve known that if you let your negative thoughts play freely in your mind, they’ll multiply, create scenarios and eventually, shift your entire way of thinking.

The premise that people are controlled by their thoughts can be terrifying. Rational-Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) is a type of therapy that focuses on the irrational thinking people hold on to. One of the ways to challenge this is by putting your thoughts on trial. The first time I heard about this, I visualised my thoughts behind bars. It made me chuckle. ‘Finally, the bastards have been caught!’

The Culture Worm is my response against the inner monsters taking over.

I realise my fears are normal, yet I want to spend less time worrying about these fears and more time recognising accomplishments.

For instance, you being one of the 51 people who’ve decided to join me on this journey right from the start!

Thank you for being here.
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Now let’s dive into some cheery content!

Happy reading, happy learning,
Teodora x

🥁 📚 The latest in the literary world

Hyperventilating with excitement because Bernardine Evaristo has announced her first non-fiction book which will be published in October! 🤯 It’s called ‘Manifesto - On Never Giving Up’ and it touches upon her experiences around social issues such as race, class, feminism, sexuality and ageing. The 2019 Man Booker Prize winner has delved into these topics before with her magnificent work of fiction, ‘Girl, Woman, Other.’ I wrote on Goodreads my views on the novel that made Evaristo become the first Black woman to win the prestigious literary award. A little disclaimer: I rated it a strong four out of five! ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (note to self: there will come a day when I’ll discuss my book rating system and why I rarely give 5/5 stars!)
Speaking of the Booker Prize, the longlist for the 2021 International Booker is finally here! 🙌 Newcomers seem to dominate this year’s selection: only two out of the 25 authors and translators have previously been longlisted. If you’re keen to do your homework and bet on this year’s winner, you have until June 2. The winner will be revealed during a virtual event from Coventry, UK City of Culture 2021.
How many of you know what a ‘bibliotherapist’ is? Yeah, me neither. (Now that I know, I think it’s pretty cool to be given a ‘reading prescription’!) Apparently, Naomi Ishiguro (yes, she’s the daughter of the famous Nobel laureate Kazuo Ishiguro!) is a former bookseller and bibliotherapist at Mr B.’s Emporium in Bath. Anyway, her debut novel ‘Common Ground’ is out now! Here’s an interview with her in The Evening Standard discussing writing about the experience of minorities in a post-Brexit Britain, how she’s started writing because of her father and the horror she feels when people assume her fiction is autobiographical.
BONUS: Here’s an interesting event (obviously, via Zoom 🙄) from Waterstones on Thursday, 15th of April. Booker Prize Winners – Douglas Stuart and Marieke Lucas Rijneveld, in conversation with Gaby Wood. £5 general admission/ £21 for both books. You’re welcome! 😉

🎧 👀 What I’ve watched/ listened to this week

Fran Lebowitz claiming she’s not an influencer via The New York Times’ ‘Sway’. Why listen? Apart from her well-known resistance to technology, Lebowitz speaks about her close friendship with the novelist Toni Morrison, how the former Secretary-General of the United Nations Dag Hammarskjold used to be her childhood idol and why she’s never considered marriage.
How do you run an art institution in a pandemic? Robert Bound from ‘Monocle on Culture’ speaks with the director of London’s National Gallery, Gabriele Finaldi, in a 28-minute insightful interview. Why listen? Find out how one of London’s most popular tourist attractions had to quickly transform into an online museum and ramp up its digital offering, the gallery’s plans upon reopening and the exhibition on Copernicus by Jan Matejko (the first time they display a painting by a Polish artist!) and NG200, a special programme dedicated to celebrating the gallery’s bicentenary.
How much do you actually know about Soho and the West End? Apart from, well, good food, pubs and musicals? Watch this six-minute video from WhyNow’s mini docuseries ‘The Knowledge’ from the perspective of a taxi driver. You’ll learn where Bob Dylan’s ‘Subterranean Homesick Blues’ video was filmed, a Beatles concert at London Palladium that had an unexpected ending, Carnaby Street and the swinging 60s, and the road to the Savoy being the only one in Britain where you drive on the right-hand side!
Paloma Faith has always looked to me like the real version of Bridget Jones but as a singer. Of course, she’s nothing like the clumsy and drama-queen character (or let’s hope not, anyway). Faith has released five (number-one) albums and other double-platinum records, as well as won the Brit Award for British Female Solo Artist in 2015 and headlined Glastonbury. On March 27, BBC 2 aired a documentary, ‘Paloma Faith: As I am,’ that follows the pop star on tour, travelling across the world to promote her fourth album, ‘The Architect,’ along with her baby. What the documentary actually reveals is a behind-the-scenes representation of sexist, ageist attitudes and the anti-parenting narrative that dominate the music industry and impact female artists. Faith speaks about what it takes to juggle both motherhood and a career, the demands of a make-or-break tour, writing new songs and dipping her toes into the acting world. The documentary is available to watch on BBC iPlayer.

📌 Random news in brief

Unsplash got acquired by Getty Images. Good, bad? They say ‘it’s not goodbye, it’s about acceleration.’ Unsplash has always been my go-to resource when it comes to royalty-free, beautiful and usable pictures. I don’t think I would have gone through uni otherwise. 📸
French people being proud nationalists is nothing new. Now, they want their baguette to receive UNESCO world heritage status. #FirstWorldProblems 🇫🇷 🥖
A £24,000 statue of teenage climate activist Greta Thunberg has been unveiled at the University of Winchester, with critics branding it a ‘vanity project.’ The bronze is called ‘Make A Difference’. An expensive one, for sure. Soz, Greta. 😢
Inactivity is the fourth biggest killer in the world - 5.3 million people die from inactive living every year. 😵 ⚠️ Thanks for reading my newsletter, now get up and have a walk!

Before we say goodbye… 🥺

What did you think of this issue? Click on one of the emojis below and let me know how I did!

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The Culture Worm