#39 The year of awareness
On some sort of New Year's resolutions, planning how not to plan, and taking it easy – or trying to.
Happy New Year, fellow Culture Worm readers! This is the first newsletter of 2022 – yes, I am back after a short break (which wasn’t really a break, but more on this later).
The fact that we’re nearly midway through January is frankly scary. What have you been up to? Have you set your New Year’s resolutions? Are you now journaling every day? How many times have you been to the gym this month?
I don’t buy into resolutions and the “New Year, New Me” blah-blah, and you probably shouldn’t either. I am an ambitious person, a ‘high achiever,’ but this doesn’t mean I don’t get demotivated or procrastinate. In the past, I made the mistake of setting too many objectives and not being able to follow through with all of them by the end of the year. I would become increasingly frustrated for not being good enough and ticking all of the boxes. (It probably relates to patience too – I want everything, and yes, I want it now.)
The final hours of 2021 caught me at a local radio station helping with the evening programme. I was on air counting down the last seconds of the year and welcoming 2022, only thinking how lucky I am to be there, and how this is only the beginning of the career I strive to be in. Since the beginning of December, I worked more or less every single day, without much of a break. I worked during Christmas too. I don’t complain; I enjoyed it – I love news, I love radio. But I got sucked up in this environment so much that I forgot everything else happening around me.
And here we are, with only half of January left of 2022 and a lesson I learned completely by chance:
For 2022, no more planning; just a constant state of awareness: in the activities I choose to engage in, the work I do, and the relationships I have. That’s all.
Yes, I still want to take care of my mind and body by exercising regularly and eating healthily.
Yes, I still want to write more and start journaling (again).
Yes, I still want to cut back on spending and learn to take lunch with me at work.
But if it happens for a month to be fully absorbed into work and neglect the other aspects of my life, I won’t beat myself up for it. We know that work-life balance doesn’t really exist. It’s a fiddly thing. But if you are aware of what you say yes or no to, you can act upon it.
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This is the first year in a long time when I didn’t set a reading goal on Goodreads – I am the type of person who sometimes needs a kick to keep her motivation along the way and hit the deadline. I read for pleasure, there’s no doubt about it. Yet, I find myself looking for shortcuts – picking up a novella instead of a hefty book, going for the self-help genre as it’s easier to get through as opposed to the more energy-consuming alternatives.
For a long time, I told myself this is not a bad approach – in the end, reading is reading. If this means by the end of the year I will get through more books, then it’s a win. More exposure to what’s happening on the literary market, more information coming my way, more content for this newsletter.
In 2022, I want to change my reading habits. I want to read more intentionally, and at my pace without succumbing to any kind of external pressure (I’m looking at you, BookTubers who manage to bag 100+ books a year!).
I’m not sure how this will work. So far, I read zero books – a promising start. A small part inside of me is already furious (and disappointed). But it’s okay. Maybe this is the year when I finally get my head around Sylvia Plath’s (huge) volume of letters, I catch up with the works of Leo Tolstoy and Marcel Proust, and discover more of Joan Didion’s writing. I’m sure there will be distractions along the way; the point is not to ignore them, but to welcome them – in moderation.
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This “non-planning/ take it easy” mantra is a bit counterintuitive for someone who gets a great deal of satisfaction from planning. But how do we know if we don’t try?
It’s your turn now to tell me what you want to make of 2022. Share your goals/resolutions/ plans/ non-plans with me by hitting reply to your email or leaving a comment below. As always, I’ll reply – maybe not straight away, but I will. :)
Thank you for sticking with me in 2022. Let’s make it a memorable year.
Teodora x
P.S: No recommendations today, as I’m in bed with fever and flu symptoms after my booster jab … Normal service will resume next week.
Before we say goodbye… 🥺
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I started that not-too-much-planning thing at the beginning of the pandemic. It works, and reduces stress by about 80%. I have lived enough life to know that all that planning doesn't work anyway. Each day, a step forward is sometimes enough.
Honestly this is so funny i am having the same kind of Mantra this year being more lay back because I won't feel dissppinted when I have set some lofty goal that I was unable to achieve. Good to see you back on this cant wait to see what you bring in 2022. You know I will be reading it. Also hope you recover fast!